Team Sullivan: Letting Go

A telephone call. Shock. Tears. Long talks. Earnest prayers for a different outcome. The news sinks in. Wrestling with God. Truth. Promises. Hope. More tears. Heartache. Raw emotions. Yet peace in trusting in God`s timing.Our last few years have been filled with these things as we received a telephone call from Sam`s mom last week that she is set to take her son back home.

To be honest, we all knew deep blue in our hearts that this was leaving to finally come. And I`ve dreaded it. But coming this soon, was rather a blow to us all, and Jake, Sam and I have experienced some real raw emotions over the preceding few days.There are parts of me that read this. But more parts of me are in deep anguish for the red that I am feeling over this boy that God has taught me to love unconditionally. I see a mother`s yearning inside her eye to be with and produce her son. I fully get that. But as I`ve processed my emotions over the preceding few days, my fears have been kicking in.I consider of all the progress he`s made here in his conduct and cultivate and I fear it will all go kill the drain when he gets back to his early life.For about a class now I`ve watched him get a loving, selfless, appreciative demeanor and an awareness for others` needs. And I fear he will be treated once he goes back into that environment.I`ve been reminiscing over these past few years of when Sam`s faith in Jesus was born inside of him a few months ago, and how I have been seeing the study of the Holy Spirit transform his spirit and give him an inflammation in thirsting after the things of the Lord. I mean of the open-hearted family devotionals we`ve had with him, of the young minister at our church who has invested in him, of the friends he`s made in our community who are also choosing to be God`s path, of the long-deep talks he and Jake have had about spiritual maturity and using the gifts and talents God has given him to affect others_.and I fear that his foot in Christ isn`t strong enough yet for him to pass this way in a totally different setting.I fear that he`s not strong enough to bear against the peer pressure and lifestyles that the city life presents to new boys.I fear the awaiting destruction of no near male role models.I fear that the loving bond Sam has made with apiece of our children will be confused with him now living at a distance.I fear the red that I am already feel in my heart. Because as often as I thought we were split of Sam`s God story, he is really more a piece of ours. When I see at Sam I see growth in my faith. I see the effort and the crying and the frustrations of learning how to love someone no matter what they do or how they act. When I see at Sam I see a huge part of my spirit that taught me how to put others first in a selfless love. And without him here, I fear a big piece of me will be gone.And yet, as my mind swirls and swirls and swirls with these fears produced from my heartache, I see God say to me There is no awe in love. But pure love drives out fear. Who am I trusting in? Where there is care and worry, then there is no confidence in an Almighty God. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and assist you; I will preserve you with my righteous right hand. God has assured me that He is animation in Sam`s heart. And this serenity is the sole thing that can take out my fears. God`s everlasting love is the sole strength, help and victory Sam needs to abide fast in His faith. He doesn`t take me or Jake. He doesn`t take a complete environment. He merely needs to continue trusting in his Savior. And so do I.Sam`s question to us as we sat down and talked through all of this a few nights ago was "Why now? Why would God do this now when everything is leaving so good?" Jake`s answer was that God had granted him an awful year with our house to get his religion and set a foundation. But now God was calling him out. Out of here, and into a situation where he can have a huge impact for Christ. His impact here in little Huxley, Iowa would have been good. But the impact Sam could potentially have in inner-city Des Moines where there are not many young, African American role models following Jesus to see up to is leaving to be so much greater. And Sam will make the program of sports which can be victimized as a huge platform for Christ in the inner-city. As I practically downed an entire toilet paper roll in my tears, Jake encouraged Sam that this was the saame way as it was for the disciples in the Bible. They didn`t own a lengthy amount of age with Jesus. But they believed, they spent time with Jesus, and so Jesus left them by way of the cross. And Jesus` final bid to them after his resurrection was summed up in these two words: Now go. Go into all the globe and prophesy the full tidings to all creation.Jake encouraged Sam that God is set to save his story_.the volume of Sam. We acknowledge that the story has actually already been started and has quite an exciting beginning, but where will it go from here? When the news hit, my maternal mind and heart quickly took me into worries and frets about Sam`s future_.but so as people started praying for us, God`s promises to Sam became louder in my mind. I will take the screen by ways they give not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will become the shadow into light before them and have the rocky places smooth. These are the things I will do; I leave not desert them (Isaiah 42:16). GOD Will NOT Desert HIM! For I love the plans I accept for you, declares the Lord, plans to thrive you and not to damage you, plans to make you desire and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). SAM`S CIRCUMSTANCES AND HIS SURROUNDINGS ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT! GOD HAS BIG PLANS FOR SAM`S LIFE! So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and assist you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) GOD IS SAM`S STRENGTH AND Service AND GUIDE! And it`s just because of these truths that I can say to Sam - I am convinced that He who began a safe exercise in you will convey it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).As we`ve said our goodbyes to Sam over the preceding few days I`ve been reminded that God`s timing is Ever perfect. And yet though Sam`s circumstances and environment have changed in the flash of an eye, there is one thing that Never changes and is Always constant_.and that is our Almighty God. No matter what trials lie ahead, God is with him.Dear Sammy~I hate that you take to give us. Jake and I have grownup to know you so much, and I am having a very tough time letting go of you. I am SO Proud of the new man I have seen you get into over the preceding year. Continue on in the one and only thing that truly matters in life - loving God with all your spirit and with all your person and with all your mind. If you keep to try Him, He will serve you in every single way that you need.Have I not commanded you? Be firm and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9~